Today is a hard day. I had a bit of a rough night and still in it's shadow.
Today I have fought the shadow.
By making a happy brunch for myself (a cucumber sandwich on my food blog).
By editing a wedding and keeping in mind the couple's love for each other.
By making a grilled cheese sandwich for the kids and listened to them rave about it.
By swimming with the kids for almost 2 hours.
By making silly faces underwater and coming up just in time to have a full on belly laugh.
Today I am focusing on the happy.
I hear the kids laughing and eating fresh fruit.
I see them smashing the fruit juices into their lemonade to create new flavors.
I am reading a book that made me happy last summer
I see the little freckles on the kids' noses and it makes me want to kiss all over them
I dream about an easier tomorrow.
Today I carry on with life.
Small daily lessons for the kids
Planning dinner for tonight
Plucking my eyebrows
Saying a prayer during my 2 minutes of alone time
Counting the hours until I can have a glass of wine
Today I will admit my frustrations.
I can't finish a sentence of my book without hearing "mom"
I have answered to "mom" a million times this past week
I looked in the mirror to see that I haven't plucked in weeks. Yikes.
I miss my husband when he is traveling but it is a hard adjustment when he returns
I try not be jealous when he is traveling to Seattle where we fell in love, and next to San Fransisco where I always dreamed of going though I lived in California for 10 years..but I get that way while I am stuck here
I know I am human, and my feelings are legit. And he works hard for this family.
I also work hard for this family and I have to realize that my perks are the ones fighting to my left.
I got my feelings hurt today when my son told me as we were swimming that I never play with them or do anything fun.
What I do for them...
Plan fun outings
Play with them daily
Find fun events to do with them weekly
Hug, kiss and pray with them daily
I give them tools to use their imagination and mind daily
Surprise them with trips, events, experiences, movies, and special time together
I taught them the beauty of finding shapes in clouds and shooting stars
Read to them daily
I am trying to give them the best foundation so that they can grow to be the best them.
I know one day they will know. I know one day they will thank me.
I know I am lucky to have everything I have, but some days life is hard. And right now my heart hurts and I am feeling a bit sorry for myself.
Tomorrow is a new day.