Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Love Day.... The Good Stuff

A year ago, my husband and I were so very disconnected. We let ourselves let go of communication and Not good in a marriage. It almost ended us. Truth.

Fast forward one year. A year of us constantly remembering to communicate, a year of gaining back control of how we stand as a family, a year of seeing the woman of one of the strongest couples I have ever known say goodbye to her soul mate (my mother in law), a year of being there for my husband as he let his dad go and promising to be there for his mom in her time of need and beyond, a year of our children learning to see us kiss again, a year of kissing my husband goodbye again daily as he leaves for work, a year of being brutally open to my friends who have prayed for us over and over, a year of being the new and improved couple for only ourselves, a year of rediscovering each other and forgiving along the way, and a year of both of us remembering why we fell in love in the first place.

What a year.

Thank the good Lord we decided to fight this out. It took two. Not everyone has two to fight, so I know how lucky we are.

I have not shared much of this out in the blogging world. Because we were still healing. We were dealing. And we only trusted those closest to us the struggle we had endured.

And here we were yesterday. Valentine's Day 2012. Buying funny cards for each other that are a tad bit tacky and we have to hide them from the kids. We were covered up in Valentine Parties, not only for our own kids, but being there for my niece and nephew who are new at our school (awesome post for another day, my cup runneth over). I was exhausted and could not think and had a car in the shop and was just keeping my head above water with work and the house and awesome kids. Romantic, huh?

Yesterday at 6pm or so, we left both kids home for a few so we could take the niece and nephew home and I could get my car back. While hubby dropped off kids, I went home to get the house cleaned up. The kids were in their rooms, being very sneaky. Those boogers were making me a card. The best kind to get.

My daughter made a sweet card, but we talk all the time of our love and appreciation of each other. My son, he is more quiet. His little card was so simple yet so heartfelt. Tears.

After a fabulous dinner by my husband, we all sat on the sofa together. One by one, we told the other what we loved about each other. I half way expected this to be a total fail. The kids fighting, refusing to be nice to each other. Instead we got love that had us all tearing up. We heard our children say things to the other that we never thought we would hear, so very awesome. Our children said things to us about their love for us, and we realized that we were doing it right. Raising awesome adults who truly enjoy the good stuff. It isn't all about how we look in other people's eyes or how we are thought of. It is about us, our hearts and souls truly "getting" it. Life, and how the people around us can keep us inspired and good and real. Then came my words to my husband. Funny, it came down to how we met. He danced with me, led me, and made me feel safe. Still stands strong today.The words to me from my husband were surprising....he called me the glue to the family. What a statement.

So while I saw people mad at what they got for V-Day, or what they didn't get, or what they wanted, or how they don't believe in it....I just have to say:

I enjoyed my day. I enjoyed the holiday. I got pretty flowers, I got handmade cards, I got a naughty card, I got to spend time with extended family, I got to enjoy a meal made by my hubby (although it wasn't cleaned up haha), I got so very much. Some that some people would roll their eyes at. But I have my husband. I look at my mother in law mentioned above who celebrated her first Valentine's Day alone (although she spend most of the day with us and at parties, so she was with people who loved her beyond belief) in who knows how long. I can not imagine how she felt.

So I will say that I will take my simple and beautiful day into evening over diamonds, trips, crazy expensive flowers, and fancy dinners. Because the words I heard my family say to the other

Just wow.


Anonymous said...

Love love love... Thanks for sharing!!! :)

Allie said...

Wow Kandi!! Thank you for sharing!!! I reared up reading this. Marriage is hard work!! I've only been at it two years, and I'm so thankful for a spouse that does life with me. I know it's not always easy, Lord knows we've had our ups and downs. It excites my heart that there are people out there that work through their issues because, in the end, it's worth it!!! I'm so glad you were both willing to fight!! May God bless you both!!

Kandice said...

Thanks to both of you. So easy to let go of the good stuff when you are stressed. But it takes strength to let go of the stress when you are in the good stuff. Weird, huh?

Elementary Counselor said...

Love you!! This post was so sweet. I love Drew's card for you. Colton and I exchanged naughty cards too, it must have been the year for that. I am glad you had such a wonderful day. I am thankful for your beautiful family and the place you all have in my heart.


Lydia said...

As i sit here crying.....I'm so proud of you both.......great job!!!!!

Mama Red said...

So glad to see you opening up about this. I am not only happy with the turn around your family has made, but also how you learned to truly trust your friends. We are still here and we love you so much.

Christi said...

That took a lot of guts an glue to put together.
I'm proud of you and your family.
I'm also very proud to call you my friend.

Christi said...

That took a lot of guts and glue to put together.
I'm proud of you and your family.
I'm also proud to call you my friend.
Thank you!

Kandice said...

My Without you.

Pam Frantz said...

Kandice you and Chad are living proof God answers prayers...I am so proud of you..Both of you have made it work again.

Amy said...

Such a beautiful post. Made me tear up. Sounds like a lovely day and I am so glad that you are all in a happy place, a place filled with the good stuff. A good marriage is certainly one worth fighting for and you are a fighter baby. Love ya.